It will be hard - they said.
You will continuously fight - they said.
Money will break you both - they said.
All you will talk about is work - they said.
He will not appreciate the stay at home mom-life - they said.
Growing up, I told myself I would never work with my future husband. Why? Because I believed all the statements above. I thought working with your husband would be like asking for a divorce. Also, I am an independent woman, and I take pride in all the things I work my ass off for, so to work with my husband would make me question my strength. I am not weak! I just could never picture it, and I swore it would never happen.
An opportunity came knocking, and there was a chance I could leave a corporate job that no longer brought me happiness. Right then, I knew I had to let my prideful thoughts go and make an executive decision. One, out of many reasons why I left my corporate job, made me question my relationship and how the hell we were going to make it work. I am a control freak, under construction. However, I am also organized, detailed, and a hard worker. As for my husband, he is by far a hard worker, ambitious and dedicated. Put those descriptions together, and you get a perfect team.
Though, that is not what I questioned. My mind raced with thoughts such as, will he appreciate the input I put into the business, take notice in not only working, but maintaining house chores and raising a toddler all while pregnant, or fighting over money and how I will no longer make my complete share. I will say this again, I take pride in what I do, as well as what I earn, so to rely on a man for income, made my decision even more challenging to make.
Fast forwarding, I am now working with my husband. Decision made! I decided with the confirmation of his love and appreciation, to drop all prideful thoughts, and look at the bigger picture. I can work from home! My little girl (soon girlS) will see her/their mama as often as they'd like. And finally, I came to find out there are SO many opportunities to make an income, then working for someone else. Crazy how it all works out, huh?
I left corporate America roughly two months ago, and it has been by far the BEST decision I have ever made. And you know what? My husband and I are stronger than ever. Yes, we bicker. Yes, we bump heads here and there, no doubt. We are both humans. However, the work, the home life, the freedom, has brought more room for growth, affection, and time with one another.
Just so you can see how working with your husband is not as bad as they say, or DOESN'T have to be, I'll share with you all you need to know. Below is a list of what to do and what NOT to do when working with your husband/significant other.
Read, learn and, take action. Whether you work with your husband or not, I am positive this list will help you either way!
Things you should do when working with your husband:
Communicate! Without communication, you have no idea what is on each other's plates or what is going on in each other's minds. It is crucial to keep open communication with your partner, primarily if you work together. Trust also plays an important role when communicating. When you have open relationship and actually converse with one another, trust can be a lot easier to build.
I have a confession - communication is not my expertise. However, it is my husband's, thank God! I am the absolute worse when it comes to expressing my feelings. It just comes out all upset or confusing. Communication is something I learned from him. He showed me how to communicate and proved to me that he can understand my angry, confusing, expressing self. So, we practice our communication daily, and we always check in about 4 to 5 times a day. Yes, 4 to 5 times a day! It does not matter what we are doing. We pause to call or text one another as to what we are up to and what is our next move. Some days go by, and I hardly see my husband, so those timely check-ups are vital.
Show appreciation! When you feel credit is due, be sure to express it. A simple I see you will go a long way while working with your partner.
As mentioned before, I am organized and detailed, so when I came on board our Driving School - La Escuelita, I was eager to add my strengths to the mix. My husband saw how much of an impact it did for the business, and not only did he see it, but he praised it, and 'til this day, he continues to praise my efforts. That makes me feel good, of course. I mean being appreciated makes one feel incredibly important. I also give my husband credit in the long hours he puts into the business, all while taking care of me and being the best father to our girls. We can't forget that we are humans, not robots, and expressing our gratitude with words of kindness helps a relationship grow.
Support one another! You may not agree with everything your partner does or say. However, you should 100% support them. Especially in front of others - it is never right to downgrade your partner in public.
You may not know this, but my husband was working to become a world champ one day! He was and still is one of the greatest professional boxers I know. However, life took a toll on him and gave him the news he did not want to accept. Boxing with arthritis in one's hip is unspoken of, so his boxing career has been a massive struggle for him. I stood by him all the way, from beginning to end, to now. I watched his first amateur fight and professional fight. I witnessed his strength and what he was capable of doing. So being apart of his come up and downfall has not only been difficult for him, but for me as well. However, I supported his every decision because he believed in himself, so why wouldn't I? Shoot, the guy even supports my blogging! He motivates me and actually puts in his input. Support your team!
Be patient, and respect one another! The final thing you should always consider is how important it is to be kind, understanding, and respectful with your partner. You spend every wakening morning and every night with them, and when it comes down to abuse, physically or mentally, then something’s up and, analyzation will most definitely need to take place.
Patience is hard! Especially when you have a million things to do and a yelling toddler begging to be picked up. This calls for a breather. Often times, my husband comes to the rescue and takes the little one to the gym with him, a walk, or something. This right here is called teamwork. A simple, babe please take her for a few, will suffice, and of course, with the understanding, you'd hope your partner would take it like a champ and grab the little gobbler, as my husband likes to call our daughter.
As for respect, this is a must! There is absolutely no reason your partner should ever disrespect you. If your partner talks down to you, mentally or physically abuses you, walk away NOW. It does no good to you or your children, if any, to be in such a toxic relationship. Easier said than done. Yes, I understand that. However, if you don't at least begin to strategize your exit plan, then you'll be stuck forever, my friend.
Things you should NOT do when working with your husband:
Don't complain! There is nothing more annoying to your significant other than your complaints about HOW MUCH YOU DO.
Why? Because, if my husband comes home complaining how tired he is and how busy he was at work, all while you have dinner ready, you're washing the dishes, and the little one in your hands crying. Yea, don't come complaining to me that YOU'RE TIRED! My husband and I are a team, we are equal, and I am so grateful to the number of times he catches himself, expressing how tired he is and just stops and vice versa. Of course, every now and then, we both sneak in our complaints, but we do not allow it to affect our teamwork or relationship.
Don't ignore one another! There is nothing more dissatisfying than a partner that says they are listening while roaming the web, when being talked to.
Put your phones down. No, really! Take an hour or two and attend to your partner. Give them your undivided attention, DAILY. What most of us don't understand is the devices we hold are so efficient. However, we all hold the devil in our hands every day. Remember to MAKE time for one another, without social media.
Don't push each other's buttons! No one knows your partner the way you do. With that, you know what irks them. Do not use that to your advantage and throw it in their face to upset them. It will get you nowhere.
I know what bothers my husband. It is pretty funny sometimes how I can use it to my advantage. However, I don't often. It's actually more difficult for me to irk him, than for him to irritate me. I've got a list as long as Santa's when it comes to what annoys me. Embarrassing, but lucky for me, my husband does not use it to his advantage, probably because he doesn't intend to. What I notice more about expressing what annoys me, is that he genuinely works on it. Maybe for about a week or two, but his efforts are very much there. A simple example that popped into mind is how not everyone is like me, tends to have to dry themselves entirely before stepping out of the shower. My husband, however, nope. I don't even know why I give the guy a towel. Water is all over the floor, and it doesn't bother him, not one bit. What is important, though, is he takes the time to dry it all up for me. Sounds silly, I know! But, it's the simple things that count the most.
Don’t make it all about work! FAMILY should ALWAYS come first. Working with your husband often fills your conversations with work, work, and more work. Remind one another to take a step back and talk about other things and occasionally go on dates, whether it be once a week or once a month. Your relationship should always come before work.
I thought my husband would bombard me with work. I was wrong. Often times I do find us reminding each other to talk about something else. Usually, we talk about work during the day and throughout our evenings, is our chill time - the best time. Find your time to converse about everything BUT work. And, remember, work can easily be replaced, family CANNOT!
Not only can this list be used for those working with your partners, but in everyday living! Love one another, show appreciation, and commit your time to them. No relationship is perfect, but as humans, we are in charge of our own actions, and by using these tips daily, your relationship can go from 0 to 100 real quick.
Lastly, don't forget to