The fundamental key rules when in a relationship and some tips and tricks to keep that spark alive.
Are you in a serious relationship? Have you consumed everything you ever want to know about your partner? Do you understand him/her? Have you gotten to the part where the KEY RULES have finally unleashed themselves? If not, you will find this read to be very helpful. If you have overcome all the questions above, then kudos to you and just maybe, you will find some friendly reminders for your relationship.
Yes, my dear friend, there are RULES and REGULATIONS when involved in a serious relationship. Every couple is different, which entitles different rules. However, most relationships will eventually get to the THREE TOP RULES:
1. Never assume.
2. Open communication.
3. Listen. LISTEN.
L I S T E N!
Often times we tend to assume that our partner doesn't love us, don't care about us, might be talking to someone else, is cheating and the list goes on. But here's the thing, if you do not confront your partner, before assuming things, your head will explode and so will your relationship. Do not speculate and question yourself, if there is absolutely no reason to! Conflicts will arise and you will wind up looking like a fool, if your relationship ends due to unnecessary questioning. However, if your partner is giving you REASON to question, you BETTER speak up!
By never assuming, comes open communication. No relationship is at its best if there is no communication. This means conversations that go from how your day went, to deep late night talks. The late night talks or early morning discussions can really bring you two closer, mainly because you have no interruptions like crying babies or constant phone calls coming in. By sharing and spending quality time together, it will really bring your relationship to the next level.
When I say listen, I don't mean open your ears and focus. I mean open your heart, drop your phone and pay attention to not only what your partner is saying, but observe their gestures. Feel their energy. Are they looking for solutions, a hug or feedback? Every conversation you have with your partner is important. Look for those clues, and act accordingly. Especially if your lady is going through a rough patch, i.e. pregnant, on their menstrual cycle or in a funk. DO NOT SPIT OUT QUESTIONS LIKE: “What is wrong with you?” “Why are you so moody?” Us WOMEN do not take questions like that very easily. Asking your lady such questions will result in one angry bitch ready to slap the shit out of you. Be CAUTIOUS!
Apart from all these RULES - there is also YOUR GUT FEELING! You know damn well when your heart is telling you that your man or woman is not being 100% real with you. As much as you tried to trust, communicate and listen, sometimes it just does not work out. But you know what dude? Everything does not plan out as expected. What is most important to your well-being, is how you overpass it all. Of course, it's easy for me to sit here and tell you to suck it up and move on. However, let's be realistic, life isn't that simple. What you do is, YOU LET IT PASS. You let time pass by, slowly until you have fully accepted the outcome. Then, you move forward and knock 'em dead! Focus on that COMEBACK baby! ;)
Tips and Tricks:
"Water your garden": My husband will share this with anyone who is going through a rough patch. If your relationship is losing that spark, that excitement, then something is missing. So, what do you do? Take initiative and make reservations at a top-notch restaurant. Buy her flowers, because let's be real, if these MEN out here are not treating their woman right, then don't expect these ladies to be all sweet in return - BUY HER FLOWERS DAMMIT. Tell her she is beautiful and tell him that he is handsome. Share old stories. Drink wine. Loosen up and enjoy your time with each other. BE IN THE MOMENT.
STOP COMPLAINING: I am guilty of this! Complaining has overpowered me quite often and it is a constant battle for me to shut my mouth. What your significant other does for you may not meet your expectation, but they DID IT FOR YOU! Appreciate it.
I remember when I came home from work and walked passed my husband without a 'hi', and began my greeting with "ugh, I need to sweep, this house is so messy". Little did I know, he actually swept earlier that day. You can only imagine how I felt when he told me. EMBARRASSING!
There is complaining, then there is NAGGING: Please stop hounding your men, and men appreciate your women. Notice each other! That constant 'you NEVER wash the dishes' or 'you're ALWAYS on your phone' will get you nowhere. Matter a fact, REMOVE 'never’ and 'always' from your vocabulary. There is nothing more irritating than someone throwing those two words in your face that are absolutely not accurate. Also, rather than stating a complaint, why not share a compliment or express how much you miss that person and would appreciate some time together. - open communication people!
Love Unconditionally: Although there will be some things you dislike about your partner, nothing should ever get in the way of what you LOVE about them. Embrace that and focus on what makes you absolutely, indescribably in love with your significant other. Maybe you aren't there yet, but we all want that right!? I hope so.
OK, now you have the fundamental rules to discover and some tips and tricks to take with you along the way. Love yourself, love others and love BOTH STRONG.