Develop good habits, structure, and coping mechanisms when life is at its highest peak. You’ll need them when life gets to it's lowest.
Those who are very close to me, my husband really, has mentioned before how negative I can be. It's true. I instilled in my mind that I had a negative personality and gave myself the excuse that it is just "who I am."
That changed after I began to analyze things differently and forced myself to change my perspective! I have to admit, Matthew has been a massive part of the reason why. He was and still is, so truthful with me, even if it meant hurting my feelings. I'll share how my "personality" changed a little later. Right now, I feel it is crucial to bombard you with the truth! Are you ready?
Our feelings and actions towards others or scenarios that occur in our lives are NOT our PERSONALITIES. It is NOT who we are. It is our HABITS!
If you sit back and truly analyze your life, your mindset, and your surroundings, how are you reacting to it all? Is your anger overpowering your judgment? Do you often get upset because someone cut you off on Route 66? Are you repeatedly late to work? Does your mind race at night thinking about everything you didn't get done or have to do the next day?
Well, who's fault is that?! I hope you guessed right because it's YOURS. It is not the driver's fault that you are angry. It is not the world's fault that you are late to work. The dishes, cleaning, and dinner may have refrained you from getting the things you needed to be done, but again, who's fault is that? Maybe if you got up early enough and prepped dinner and tidy things up, you wouldn't have gotten cut off on Route 66 and arrived to work on time. It's all in your control my friend, despite nature of course — that's different.
Okay, so now we know who's at fault here. Let's get to the bottom of how you can discard these filthy habits of yours. No one wants to feel so bitter inside. Better yet, no one wants to be around a negative Nancy.
Let's start by taking a second to list 3 habits you wish to instill in your everyday lifestyle. For example:
Find ways/triggers to help shift the mindset from negative to positive.
Wake up earlier.
Make a list of things I accomplished before bed.
(Your list can also consist of habits such as limit eating out, drink a gallon of water each day, save $20 each week, etc.)
Before we get into to magically forming better habits, I am sure you are wondering as to how in the hell we are going to do this? Well, for starters, it takes about 21 days to break a habit. So, you have 21 days to break those horrible habits of yours and start your new beginning. Now is the time! Think of it this way, your washing away all those bad habits, and inhibiting new GOOD habits. Which do you think will help you most in the long run? Good habits, of course.
I have a habit that my mom actually taught me when ever I am out shopping for myself. This cute dress has my heart and it’s $45. I’ve got no coupons and it’s not on sale. So, I ask myself, “Do I need it? How many times will I wear it?” I have been doing this ever since I started earning my own money. A habit I will forever be grateful for having. Saved me tons of money. And, no I never bought the dress.
Final step, is to develop a game plan in your mind and start mastering away. Personally, I'd start with number 3 - Make a list of things I accomplished before bed. There is nothing more frustrating than going to bed with a racing mind that just won't shut up. Rather than consuming everything that I did not get done the day of, I find it satisfying listing everything I DID get done. As for you, feel free to be flexible with your GOOD habits, but remember to be stern, determined, and discipline. You will lose motivation, that’s a fact. Nothing in life is easy, but with discipline, comes action, and with action comes everything you wish for!
Let me say that again.
YOU WILL LOSE MOTIVATION, BUT WITH DISCIPLINE, COMES ACTION AND WITH ACTION, COMES EVERYTHING YOU WISH FOR!
In addition to that, there will be times where you will get off track. Trust me, I've been there. I got pregnant, and stopped working out. I grew one of my good habits, by working out every day. However, working out and being pregnant just wasn't the same for me. I gave birth, and got right back on track, then got pregnant again. But, I promised myself as soon as baby #2 arrives, I will climb the latter all over again. You see, what matters most, is the outcome, your happiness and your actions. So long as you believe in yourself, you will eventually get to where you truly want to be in life.
My mindset changed the moment I finished The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. Not only did this book change my entire life, but it was as if I had finally woke up and smelled the coffee. I found more to life than just the downs. I finally found the good in the bad no matter the circumstances. My poor husband, I don't know how he stuck by me with so much negativity that I carried for 6 years.
Rhonda Byrne goes into extreme depth about the law of attraction which follows right behind our habits, routines, and mindset. If you are not one to read, Netflix has your back with the rundown and summary clip on The Secret, just for you.
With this book, came my new beginning. I simply continued to pick up books that surrounded the idea of the law of attraction. Another famous author, whom is now my idol, is Rachel Hollis. If you are a woman who feels sorry for yourself, drowns yourself in doubt and is battling with anxiety, girl, you better get her book - Girl, Wash Your Face. Another great read, for my men out there, is Make Your Bed by William H. McRaven.
Looking back now, I have grown into the woman I always wanted to become when I was younger! It's crazy how that happens. My bed is made every morning, which gives me strength and reminds me that I can do anything. With the help of my toddler, I'm up by 6/7am, which is early enough to me. As for the rest of the day, I simply let it ride on by. Of course, I still struggle with anxiety and the thought of my little one’s spaghetti getting all over our new dining table. But, I don't let it get the best of me. I simply sigh and keep going. My early arrival to work increased by 80%. It's not perfect, but I'm not perfect!
If I can do all the things that you just read, while pregnant, raising a crazy toddler, and starting my career life all over again, then so CAN YOU! Sure, it took about 2-3 years, but I'm here, and I sure as hell am grateful.
And, if you are unsure as to where to start in your list of good habits, start with GRATITUDE! Be thankful you have that device in your hands to read this post. Be thankful you have a bed to even make each morning. Be thankful that you have a car for others to cut you off in. Be thankful for all your failures and triumphs. BE THANKFUL!
There are so many other humans out there who would kill for the life you live.